Survival of the Parents
by Mirai Kurosaki
Summary: Hisoka and Tsuzuki are placed in charge to care for two diabolical children.
1. Default Chapter

****

Survival of the Parents

A/N: ^_^ Review! This is to make up for being so late on Akusho and such. 

****

~*~*~*~

"Just a bite?"

"No."

"Perhaps a crumb?"

"No."

"Not even a piece of the toast?"

"I said 'no'."

"Come on."

"Are you always this bothersome?"

"It's out of love."

"Is that so?"

"You know it."

"Idiot."

"I know you love me."

"Stop."

"Why? You need to eat. You're so scrawny."

"I am _not_ scrawny, Tsuzuki."

"Skinny, then!"

"Are you trying to humor me?"

"I want you to eat."

"Why?"

"Because!"

"That is a pathetic answer."

"Hisoka, you're going to DIE and I'm going to feel so guilty!"

"So this is about YOU and your shame?"

"What? No! That's not what I meant, Hisoka!"

"It sure sounded that way."

"Eat."

"You're not my father."

"You're right. I'm cuter looking."

"Says the Earl."

"Hey! I AM cuter!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"No. You're much cuter."

"Don't act cheeky with me."

"Never."

"I mean it."

"So do I. Now, take a bite."

"Tsuzuki! Get that away from me! I'm not hungry!"

"For me?"

"What did you say?"

"Take a bite for me…why?"

"Oh…"

"What did you think I said?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Are you-oh!"

"Tsuzuki…"

"Hahaha! 'Are you hungry for me Hisoka? Do you lust for me?'"

"Stop that!"

"I love it when you blush."

"STOP THAT, TSUZUKI!"

"Oh say my name louder, Hisoka!"

"STUPID IDIOT!"

Tsuzuki leaned back on his chair letting out his laughter as his young partner glared bloody murder at him from across the marble wood table they sat at on his pleasant morning.

His partner's blush bloomed into a deep cherry color as he stood up and slammed his hands against the table. "STOP LAUGHING!"

Tsuzuki could not resist the vulnerable position and leaned over, took a good hold of Hisoka's arm in each hand and dragged the boy over the table and onto his lap. 

"Now see? I have to treat you like a baby because you're acting like one!" exclaimed Tsuzuki smiling widely.

Hisoka struggled against the grip. "TSUZUKI! STOP! AND DON'T CALL ME A 'BABY'!!"

"I said you're ACTING like one."

"But you're implying I am a child."

"Baby."

"Same thing."

"No," said Tsuzuki waving a finger in disagreement. "A child can feed himself and KNOWS he has to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Doesn't matter, open your mouth."

Hisoka pinched his lips shut and glared at his older partner. He was a bit use to Tsuzuki's more than friendly touches. Ever since Tsuzuki admitted he felt something more for the boy than friendship, Hisoka allowed Tsuzuki to touch him a bit more than usual. A gentle caress on the cheek or an embrace. Of course, those moments were always short lived.

Again, Tsuzuki begged Hisoka to open his mouth. "Please?"

Hisoka averted his eyes and studied the curtains. He was able to see a partial part of a large tree that stood beside the window; they were five stories high up. He saw a bird's nest made neatly of twigs and it's possession of three lonely eggs.

Barely noticing until it was too late, he felt a fork full of eggs and rice shoved into his mouth. He choked for a bit and focused his attention on spitting the food out.

Tsuzuki's hand clamped over his mouth. "Nah ah ah…Remember we agreed?"

Hisoka expression read 'agreed to what?!'.

Tsuzuki, knowing the question answered, "If I ever managed to get food into your mouth, you'd swallow. Yes, you did say that. Now swallow before I have to spank you." He winked and made Hisoka's face return to its scarlet color.

The rice was rather warm and pleasing but the eggs tasted a bit burnt. He chewed a bit and worked his tongue to swallow the food.

"That was low," he insisted after getting the food down.

"No, this is." Tsuzuki proved his point by poking Hisoka's stomach.

Hisoka gasped and leapt out of Tsuzuki's lap. "What was that for?!"

Tsuzuki smiled sweetly. "I'm really happy you agreed letting me come over last night."

"Idiot. Tatsumi-san would lecture me if I let you walked home in that bitter weather all alone and then get ill. You'd be sick by tomorrow, and we work tomorrow."

"…You weren't really going to let me freeze?"

Hisoka met Tsuzuki's eyes for an instant. "…Ah."

Tsuzuki stood up and approached Hisoka, who instantly took a step back. He took the boy's face into his hand, preventing Hisoka from backing up further. 

Hisoka blinked trying to ignore Tsuzuki's warm breath brushing against his lips.

Tsuzuki leaned forward and whispered almost seductively but more teasingly into Hisoka's left ear, "You can say you love me now."

"AH! YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE ASATO!" 

Tsuzuki laughed as Hisoka strolled pass him and picked up the plates.

"I'll do them, Hisoka" he offered following the boy into the kitchen with the excess plates.

Hisoka scowled. "Just leave them in the sink for now."

"Okay." Tsuzuki placed the silverware inside the sink and washed his hands beside Hisoka.

Tsuzuki turned off the sink and wiped his hands on a blue towel with white strips drawn across it. Rather plain, but neat. He offered the towel to Hisoka.

Hisoka looked at the towel and placed his hands before Tsuzuki's face. "No thanks," he said before clenching his hands and releasing again with enough force to splash Tsuzuki in the face with the cold water that remained on his hands.

"AH! HEY!"

"You deserved it," Hisoka declared sitting on the sofa after wiping off his hands on the rag.

"You want to do something today?" asked Tsuzuki sitting beside Hisoka with a 'plop'.

"No."

"No? Why not?"

"Because all you ever want to do is eat."

"Not true."

"Oh? What else do you do besides consume large amounts of food?"

Tsuzuki quickly leaned to his side and stole a kiss on Hisoka's cheek. "That."

Hisoka's turned his head a bit to hide the blush immediately.

"I know you're blushing. I'm flattered."

" I am NOT blushing!"

"You are too!"

"I am NOT! Leave me alone!"

"I never will."

"You had breakfast. You can leave now."

"I don't want to."

"It's MY temporary home."

"I'll be lonely."

"Good."

"You don't have to hide from me, Hisoka."

"The only thing I'm hiding is-"

"I know what it is."

"Oh? Enlighten me."

"I will."

"Okay."

"You're hiding…"

"………………..While the humans are young, Tsuzuki"

"…An erection."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me."

"What is with you today!? I AM NOT!"

"Prove it."

"Pr-p-PROVE it?! NO!"

"I knew it."

"I AM NOT HIDING THAT!"

"I can't believe you unless you let me see for my self. Or feel it. Either way."

"YOU'RE MAD!"

"Madly in love."

"Tsuzuki…" warned Hisoka, scooting away.

Tsuzuki frowned a bit. "I'm sorry, Hisoka. I didn't mean to offend you. Really."

Hisoka looked away.

Tsuzuki wrapped one arm around Hisoka's shoulder. "I'm really sorry. I was only enjoying my time with you. Forgive me?"

"You're not allowed to have wine at my place ever again," threatened Hisoka shuffling away from his partner.

Tsuzuki smiled. "If you don't want to go anywhere, let's…clean the house!"

"You would make a wonderful housewife, you know," Hisoka proclaimed making some tea.

"Housewife? Are you implying that you want to marry me?"

"No."

"Seriously…a HOUSEWIFE?"

Hisoka nodded. "Or a mother. You know, have a couple of kids. Feed them and change their diapers."

Tsuzuki chuckled. Their conversation was then interrupted by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," announced Tsuzuki pushing himself of the sofa and to the door. He unlocked the door and opened it. "Hell…o?"

Tsuzuki blinked and saw no one. He looked around the hallways but saw no trace of any person. He then felt a slight press against his leg. He looked down and saw two children.

"What the…"

One was about 5 or so, female. The other lied in a small basket, a male around 1 or so.

They both looked up at him with large golden eyes with interested. Both had thick black hair; the girl wore her hair in pigtails while the boy had a cute messy style on his head.

The little girl in her blue sunflower dress and matching shoes smiled widely. "Hi. I'm Mika. This is my brother Nujitsu."

Tsuzuki smiles at the little girl. "Um…Hi there. What are you doing here though all alone?"

"My cousin told me to take my brother, who's kind of weird, to come to room number 22 where I would fine a 'Soka person here," she explained cheerfully. "She said he and her or his, I can't remember, boyfriend will watch me. Are you that boyfriend? I like dogs. Cats are cute too. Dogs can be stupid and run into things. You're not like a dog are you? Do you like Barney? I do. I'm really hungry. Why aren't you answering me? Are you deaf? Hello? I'm Mika."

Tsuzuki sweatdropped unsure of what to make of the situation. _Such… desultory language._

"Tsuzuki? Who's at the door?" asked Hisoka from inside.

"Uh…H..Hisoka. Come here a minute."

Hisoka groaned and came beside Tsuzuki. "What is…..you know them?"

"Are you Soka person, mister lady?" the little girl asked trying to look up Hisoka's shirt. You don't look like a boy…."

Hisoka gave a cry and pulled his shirt down. "What are they doing here?!"

"Hey girl, who's your cousin?" Tsuzuki asked, ignoring Hisoka's comment and struggles to keep his shirt down. Personally, he didn't mind if the little girl shoved the shirt up. 

"Wakaba-chan. She says you would take care of us. Or was she lying? Are you throwing us out? Are you going to let us get kida…kid…uh…kidtaken and sold for nickels and dimes? Let us starve to death and die!" she cried out giving a dramatic sob.

"No! Don't cry…Uh…Su…Sure. If it's for Wakaba. We won't mind watching you. Come in," insisted Tsuzuki leading the little girl in. The girl was already frightening Tsuzuki.

Hisoka grumbled. "This is MY home…and I never knew about Wakaba having cousins? Are they dead?" he asked lifting the little boy into his arms with amazing care.

The little girl smiled and entered cheerfully clinging to Tsuzuki's hand the entire time. "I like you. You look like my daddy."

"Uh…thanks…I think," Tsuzuki said looking over at Hisoka with a smile. "Come on Hisoka. It's just for a day or two. You know Wakaba."

"…Mother," Hisoka teased. "And we have work tomorrow."

"You'd fit the father role then?" Tsuzuki asked grinning, ignoring the other comment about work.

Hisoka rolled his eyes and shut the door and locked it. "What are their names?"

"Mika and Nujitsu."

"Wonderful."

Tsuzuki smiles even wider. "It'll be like having our own kids!"

"16 and already with two children. What is the world coming to?" asked Hisoka sarcastically.

Tsuzuki just admired the view of Hisoka carrying the child so gently. The poignant little moment was broken when a strange sound radiated throughout the room.

The little boy in Hisoka's arms giggled. "Poo," he giggled.

A rather nasty scent also followed the statement. 

Hisoka's eye twitched as the stench grew worse. "Oh god…"

Tsuzuki blinked in confusion when Hisoka stuffed the baby into his free arm (Mika was still holding onto his right hand). "What…?"

"Like I said, a good mother knows how to change a diaper."

~*~*~*~

A/N: ^_^ Things will become much more interesting.

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	2. I hate shopping

****

Time to Shop

~*~*~*~

"Okay, we need to make a list on what we need."

"A list, Tsuzuki? We don't NEED one. Just get some diapers and bottles and whatever else it is that keeps children quiet."

"But we also need stuff in here. You know, FOOD for us."

"Tsuzuki, we don't HAVE TIME for that. Mika! Do NOT touch that!"

"Don't yell at her."

"She's going to break it. At least the other one's sleeping."

"Do you have pickles?"

"What?"

"Do you have pickles or do you need some?"

"That's sick!"

"What are you-_God_ Hisoka! Not THOSE kinds of pickles! I'm talking about the kinds you put in your mouth-OH GOD THAT SOUNDED WRONG!"

"Tsuzuki!"

"You put the thought in my head!"

"…Wait, why are you asking me if I have PICKLES?"

"They taste good."

"Stop."

"Hisoka, it's not MY fault you think that way."

"No, I don't have any pickle-MIKA! STOP THAT!"

"…Okay…Diapers. Hisoka, check what size Nujitsu wears?"

"Why?"

"Hisoka, just DO it."

"…There's nothing that indicates the size."

"There should be a number."

"Well there _isn't _one, Tsuzuki."

"There has to be one!"

"They don't make diapers like they used to in YOUR day, old man!"

"That's how they make them today! And what DIAPERS? We used cloth and washed it ourselves!"

"That's sick."

"It's true."

"There is no number on it."

"Yes there is!"

"You look for it then!"

"You're scaring Mika."

"I don't care. There is NO number."

"Fine, fine. We'll just estimate the number. Okay, bottles. Does Mika drink from a bottle? Mika, do you drink from a bottle?"

"…"

"What did she say?"

"I think it was a 'no'."

"Are you sure."

"Tsuzuki, I'm sure."

"If you say so. Let me just add some more things."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Okay! We're ready to go!"

"Have fun."

"What?"

"You're going alone."

"Hisoka, you have to come with me. I don't trust you being alone with the kids."

"I'm not going to hurt them."

"No. I'm thinking they'll hurt you. You're a child yourself."

"I'm technically 22, Tsuzuki."

"You don't act that way."

"You want to quarrel with me?!"

"No need to get upset."

"…"

"Come on, Mika! Take my hand. Good girl. Hisoka, you take Nujitsu."

"I don't want to."

"Hisoka…"

"Oh FINE! I'm coming…."

"…"

"…"

"All right. Do you have the car keys?"

"What car keys? Let's just teleport ourselves there."

"We can't do that among humans, Hisoka."

"Sure we can."

"…Where are the keys?"

"In the house."

"…Okay, well, get them."

"You have the house keys."

"You have them."

"…No, I don't."

"Well, _I_ don't have them…"

"…"

"…oops."

"Tsuzuki! Why did you leave BOTH keys there?!"

"I thought you were going to get them."

"GOD!"

"Just kidding."

"What?"

"I was joking."

"…I hate you."

~*~*~*~

"Hisoka…."

"Why do I have to get out?"

"One of us needs to watch the kids while the other gets the supplies."

"No."

"Hisoka, get OUT of the car NOW!"

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"Yes I can! I'm older than you! You should respect your elders!"

"You're no elder. You're an old fart."

"You're acting immature."

"No, I'm not."

"Get out the car before I make you."

"All talk. Blah blah blah."

"*groan* HISOKA!"

"Give me one good reason I should…"

"We won't go on that vacation."

"…"

"I'll just tell Tatsumi we can't accept it. You KNOW how much he wants us to go."

"Oh fine. I'm getting out."

~*~*~*~

"Okay, what do we need?"

"I'm looking for the damn list, Tsuzuki. Stop rushing me."

"It's just that Mika's getting fussy. And don't swear around them."

"Push her around in the cart for crying out loud!"

"No need to yell."

"Where's the damn list?!"

"Stop swearing. I put it in the bag."

"What BAG?"

"The bag in the cart! Don't tell me you lost the list!"

"ME?! You're the one who wanted to make it! And you're the one who put it away!"

"Here…Oh wait. It's in my pocket."

"…"

"Okay, diapers."

"Diapers, here. Okay, let's go."

"Hisoka! That's for toddlers. Nujitsu is only a baby."

"He'll grown into them."

"Get those one over there."

"Oh fine here."

"Baby formula."

"…Which kind?"

"What do you mean 'which kind'?"

"Tsuzuki…There are TONS of formulas. With fruits. Plain, and what the HELL is a picture of a RABBIT on one of them?"

"Get whatever."

"Uh….This one."

"…"

"What?"

"Hisoka, that's lube."

"No, it's not."

"LOOK AT IT!"

"Let me see that-WHAT?!"

"Getting horny?"

"NO! They shouldn't mix those types of things with baby products!"

"Mika, please sit down. Hisoka, how can you not know what it is? Read the label!"

"Look! There, I switched them. Happy?!"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you WANTED to put that in the cart."

"Shut up."

"Baby toys! We forgot baby toys!"

"What for? Just give the kids some yarn balls and they'll entertain themselves. You know, play 'Hang Man' or something."

"That's horrible!"

"Okay here."

"…"

"What _now_?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"No what is it? You're making a fuss out of it so spill it."

"_Nothing_."

"Fine!"

"My goodness he has a temper."

~*~*~*~

"Why can't we have coffee?"

"That crap is expensive, Tsuzuki. Tea's better for you anyway."

"I _want_ coffee."

"Hey! This is _my_ money we're spending!"

"But Hisokaaaa."

"Be quiet! What do we need now?"

"…Milk."

"Okay."

"…"

"What?"

"I don't drink 2% milk."

"What are you talking about? Milk is MILK."

"But…"

"You have your own milk at your place! Stop nagging me!"

"But I'm staying over for a while!"

"What?! Says who!"

"Tatsumi!"

"I never heard news of this!"

"I forgot to tell you last night."

"Tsuzuki!"

"What!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Where's my apology?"

"I'm sorry, dear."

"I'm not your wife. Don't call me that."

"You should be, pumpkin fuzzywuzzy love. That would be so cute."

"…What else do we need? TSUZUKI! DO NOT TOUCH THE MILK!"

"…."

"…"

"Cereal."

"What? I have cereal."

"It tastes like something that came out of a dog's ass."

"What? That's sick! No it doesn't! And that about not swearing? HYPOCRITE!"

"Yes it does. We need something…sweet!"

"No. I like healthy cereal."

"No wonder you're so cranky! You need sugar."

"Take your damn cereal. Here."

"I don't like Lucky Charms. I want Frosted Flakes."

"…There."

"I want the one that comes with a gift."

"_There_."

"…"

"What's wrong?"

"That one's cheaper than that box."

"Well, _duh_, Tsuzuki."

"If it's cheaper, it tastes like cum or something."

"Tsuzuki! Are you saying you've TASTED that before!"

"No! Er…not exactly…"

"Oh _god!_"

"It was a dream, okay?! I could _taste_ it!"

"…Who's was it?"

"What?"

"I want to know who it belonged to."

"What! No! You'll hate me!"

"Tsuzuki!"

"No!"

"Tell me!"

"NO!"

"TSUZUKI!"

"You! I'm sorry! It was _you!_"

"Oh…my…"

"You wanted to know! I'm sorry!"

"Oh that is _sick_! Wait…Are you saying I taste BAD?!"

"WAH! YOU _HIT_ ME!"

"Shut up."

"It wasn't my fault!"

"…"

"…"

"…You've got your cereal. We're done with this aisle. Come on or you'll get lost."

~*~*~*~

"Well, at least let's get some sweets! Apple pie!"

"I only buy healthy things I said."

"We got your milk didn't we?"

"…It's my money."

"…"

"Tsuzuki! GET BACK HERE! DON'T YOU DARE CHANGE THE MILK! TSUZUKI GET BACK HERE!"

~*~*~*~

"That was mean, Hisoka."

"Yeah well not only do we keep the milk, you don't get any sweets."

"What?!"

"Be quiet. You're going to wake up our kids."

"…Did you just say 'our' kids?"

"…No."

"You did!"

"I didn't!"

"YOU DID!"

"We need bread."

"Changing the subject, eh? Uh…Here."

"That's Hawaiian bread."

"…Yeah?"

"You can't make sandwiches with HAWAIIAN bread. Get wheat."

"I hate wheat."

"I don't _care_, Tsuzuki."

"Let's just go home. We got what we needed."

"Oh no! You dragged me here to get the things we needed and I'm not leaving until I get EVERYTHING!"

"…Then get some ice cream."

"I have some at home."

"Those are POPSICLES. And they're FRUIT! At least have chocolate ones!"

"Tsuzuki, don't _start_ with me!"

"Fine! What about spaghetti?"

"I don't eat spaghetti. I like pasta."

"Spaghetti IS pasta."

"We're not getting spaghetti."

"Spaghetti is _pure genius_! How could you not like it? EVERYONE love spaghetti! Same goes for pizza!"

"No pizza."

"What? Why not?"

"You got your damn diapers."

"But those aren't for me."

"I could have sworn they were."

"…Should we get a pack of condoms?"

"What?!"

"I was just asking."

~*~*~*~

"Tsuzuki?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you find the fruits I asked for?"

"Um…Apples, lemons, and bananas, right?"

"Tomatoes?"

"Those are vegetables!"

"No they're not. They're fruit."

"No they're not! They're VEGETABLES! V-E-G-E-T-….uh…wait give me a second…A-B-L-E-S!"

"…"

"If I'm lying, let God strike me down!"

"…"

"…HA!"

"That was pathetic."

"Says the kid that claims tomatoes are a fruit."

"THEY ARE DAMMIT!"

"Uh-huh. Sure."

"…"

"…"

"Tsuzuki, I thought I told you to get LEMONS. These are limes. And these are regular sized bananas! I want the small ones!"

"But it's a better deal!"

"I _want_ the small ones!"

"…But that's the size of Nujitsu's Wonder Winky."

"Excuse me?"

"You know? His twig….his….Little sword. You know, his peni…"

"I KNOW what you meant. And that's just _sick_! You need some therapy."

"I do? You're the one buying CANNED corn." 

"Don't you _dare_ tell me how to shop, Tsuzuki!"

"Someone should! Look at you!"

"What? I'm FINE!"

"I mean, these bananas are bigger than whatever package you have down _there_."

"…"

"…"

"…I don't have to listen to this."

"Hisoka? Oh for _Christ's sake!_ I'm sorry, Hisoka! I didn't mean it! Hisoka?…HISOKA!"

~*~*~*~

"…"

"I really am sorry."

"…Tsuzuki…"

"Yeah?"

"…Where's Mika?"

"_Oh my god_!"

"What? What is it?"

"Do…Don't worry."

"Don't _worry?!_ Tsuzuki, we're responsible for her! I told you this wasn't a good idea…!"

" She woke up after hearing our er…argument…"

"…You never listen to me!"

…and she wanted to read…"

"You're still not listening to me! Tsuzuki!"

"Aha! I put her in the children's section to read. Come on!"

"Wait up!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…She's not here."

"Uh…."

"TSUZUKI! YOU LOST HER?!"

"No!"

"Oh shit."

"Look! There!"

"Thank god!"

"Mika! Mi-….Hisoka…"

"….I know…."

"Mika, give me that book. That's not for little girls and boys."

"How did she get _that_ book?"

"Mika, give it to me. Mik-wait! No! Don't run! _Oh shit!_"

"Some mother you turned out to be."

"Oh be quiet. HEY! WAIT! MIKA DON'T! AAH!!"

~*~*~*~

"What about this one? Mika, stay seated!"

"Whatever."

"Hisoka, put down that magazine." 

"I'm bored."

"Why don't you get the ham and cheese?"

"Of fine."

"…And a box of tampons."

"WHAT?!"

"You're PMSing aren't you?"

"Ha ha. You're a regular, Tsuzuki."

"You almost laughed!"

"I'm leaving."

"…"

"Here you go."

"…Hisoka. That's not REAL cheese."

"It's healthy."

"It's got nothing in it! Here…It says…0 calories? But look at how much salt it contains!"

"Tsuzuki, I'm not here to argue with you."

"You need to expand your varieties in food items. If not, your body will start eating itself up because it's not getting the nutrients it needs."

"…You've been watching too many American shows."

"Hisoka!"

"…Why do those women keep staring at us?"

"They probably think we're a family."

"…I hate my life."

"I love you."

"Idiot."

~*~*~*~

"…"

"…Okay, how about whoever can guess the price of that coffee can gets to decide if we get sweets or not."

"…Fine by me."

"Okay! Yeah! You're so going down, Hisoka!"

"Down where? Hell? Been there done that."

"….Err…"

"…."

"I say it's…$2.95."

"It's $5.99."

"All right. Mika, what are the numbers on that…"

"…"

"…"

"…I win."

"What?! Are you sure? Give me that, Mika. $5.99?! How did you know! And that's so expensive!"

"First off, I told you coffee was expensive. Second, the price is in those black letters on that yellow slip under the merchandise."

"What? AH! I DIDN'T SEE IT! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

"No sweets."

"Hisokaaaaaa…."

"Your eyesight has gotten the best of you, old man."

"Don't be crude."

"Never said I wasn't."

"I love you."

"Go away."

"I love you a lot."

"Okay."

"I love you so much."

"All right, Tsuzuki."

"I looooooooovvvvveeee yoooooouuuuu!"

"STOP! PEOPLE ARE STARING!"

"I love love love love love you you you you you!"

"STOP IT, TSUZUKI!"

"*singing to the tune of Jingle Bells* Ooh, dashing through missions. With my cutey pie! Despite him being cold, he's loveable inside…!"

"TSUZUKI!!! WHAT IS WITH YOU?! STOP!!!"

"Join me Mika! That's a girl!"

"…."

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"I'm going to look at the lobsters in the tank. Hopefully with luck, I'll drown in that tank."

"…I think he's serious."

~*~*~*~

"I'm sorry."

"You already told me that."

"I know."

"You're acting unusually…perverted."

"I am _not_ perverted!"

"Then stop acting that way."

"…Do you love me?"

"I need shampoo."

"Oooh, I get to know what shampoo you like to buy! Your hair always smells good."

"You know, I think you're just obsessing over me."

"It's love, Hisoka!"

"Love? There's no such thing."

"You're just upset because no one has ever shown you true love. I on the other hand want to show it to you."

"That's fine. I see it everyday when Watari makes eyes at Tatsumi."

"He does?"

"…"

"Oooh! I _knew_ it! Thanks for confirming my thoughts!"

"…Dammit."

"So, let's get that shampoo. Where is it?"

"…Uh…It's on the very top."

"You're kidding."

"No."

"…I can't reach it. Give me a boost."

"You give _me_ a boost! You way 50 times as much with all that junk you eat!"

"…Fine. Here. Step onto my hands."

"Okay…ugh."

"Get it?"

"I'm trying-HEY!"

"What?"

"Did you…"

"Did I what…?"

"You _groped _me!"

"What?! No, I didn't! I swear! My hands are holding you up!"

"You're lying! You BIT me then!"

"Why would I bite your ass?"

"Tsuzuki! I'm serious!"

"So am I! You're just imaging it."

"How could I imagine-whoa!"

"Hisoka!"

"Tsuzuki! WHOA! OH GOD-AAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Oooh…Did I break your spine?"

"No, I'm fine."

"I'll have to try harder next time."

"…Ooh, crap, that hurt."

"Mika, it's rude to laugh."

"Did you get your shampoo?"

"Yeah."

"Let me see! …Herbal Essence? You like THIS one?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's provocative."

"Oh don't _start_ with me again."

"Do you have the URGE?"

"I'm not putting up with this."

"Hahaha. Sorry, it's FUNNY."

"No, it's not."

"…Yes, it is."

"…Shut up."

"Kiss me and I will."

"NO!"

"Then I won't be quiet."

"You're so persistent! GOD! I wish you would just leap off a cliff!"

"I would leap off of a Lover's Leap and fall in love!"

"Gah! Stop that!"

"I was just playing. You know it's so cute when you…"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

"Hey look what Mika found! Stickers!"

"Tsuzuki! A child shouldn't be reading these!"

"Ahahaha. Listen to this one: 'Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.'"

"Honestly…"

"Oh! We should get you this one, Hisoka!"

"Weren't you the one who said no swearing in front of the kids?"

"Read! Read!"

"Fine. 'I have friends…you…just can't see them'. Oh, SO funny. Should I save some laughter for later?"

"No, now's good."

"…You're an idiot."

"God, I love you."

"AAH!! SHUT UP!"

"Don't run, Hisoka! After him, Mika! Come back, love! Hahahaha!"

~*~*~*~

"Hisokaaaa?"

"…"

"Oh! There you are! We've been looking all over for you! What are you doing in such a dark corner?"

"Why are you blushing?"

"…"

"Where you masterba…"

"NO!"

"….You're panting."

"…"

"Hisoka…."

"…Some guy mistook me as his girlfriend."

"…Excuse me?"

"You heard me. He thought I was his girlfriend and tried to take me home. He's still looking for me. I just ran off because I could not convince him I wasn't her."

"….You should have let him grope you. Then he would have known."

"…"

"..heh…"

"Don't you dare…"

"…"

"TSUZUKI! DON'T!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Stop _laughing_ at me!"

"Oh! I should tell him you're _my_ girlfriend!"

"…Let's just…go."

"It's kind of funny how Nujitsu hasn't woken up yet."

"Maybe he's dead."

"HISOKA!"

"You have a SHEET over his face."

"No! It's just preventing the light from entering his little…baby…seat thing."

"Ch' here…."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Tsuzuki…"

"…What?"

"This is a doll."

"A doll of Nujitsu?"

"NO! THIS ISN'T NUJITSU! IT'S A DOLL! WHERE IS HE?!"

"What?! Impossible! I would have known if he had gotten out!"

"Oh my god…Split up! You take Mika!"

"What? YOU take her!"

"Too late. I'm running!"

"HEY!….Damn."

~*~*~*~

"Have you found him, yet, Tsuzuki?"

"No…not yet…"

"Huh?"

"Mika's trying to tell you something."

"I know, Hisoka. What is it, Mika?"

"Oh…NO! LOOK!"

"What-AAH!! NO! NUJITSU!"

"He's going to drop all those cans! NO! NUJITSU STOP!"

"AH! PLEASE STOP! COME HERE, NUJITSU! COME HE-_STOP!!_"

"Go after him!"

"I'M GOING! YOU GO THAT WAY AND TRY TO CUT HIM OFF!"

"All this commotion over a baby!"

"Hisoka!"

"I'm running already!"

"AH! NUJITSU! COME HERE, BOY! NUJITSU!!!"

"HE'S-NO! HEY! STOP! STOP!! OH _CHRIST!_"

"Hisoka!"

"I got him!"

"Hisoka, look out!"

"What?"

"Hisoka! BEHIND YOU!"

"What are you-Oh…no…."

"HISOKA!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

~*~*~*~

"…"

"…Oh god, are you sure you're all right?"

"…I want to go home."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. They're making _me_ pay for the damage!"

"Getting hit by all those boxes and cans must have hurt."

"I want to drink tea, read a book, and sleep."

"Want a kiss?"

"No."

"Here."

"Why are you touching me?"

"You should enjoy my hugs! Right, Mika?"

"…"

"Want a kiss?"

"Don't push your luck."

"Then I'm the luckiest man alive…"

"No pun intended?"

"Perhaps."

"I don't understand why I decided to accept you as my partner. Here put this in the trunk."

"Okay. You truly love me inside, is all."

"Hate is love."

"Are you implying hate is the opposite of love?"

"No. That's apathy."

"Hate."

"Idiot. Apathy means lacking emotion basically or not caring. Love is a tender emotion of affection toward a person that sparks your attention due to the quality in another's character and behavior. When hating, you are still feeling an emotion like love."

"…Uh…"

"Okay, let's try this another way. You know what a coin looks like? The quarter?"

"Um…I think so. The head and tails?"

"Yes. Imagine the head side representing love while the tails is the darker side of love, which is hate. They are the one. Apathy is the complete opposite of love."

"Oooohh. Well…I _love_ you for sure!"

"You're impossible to deal with."

"Does this mean you'll move in with me?"

"I like my home."

"You can hold this if you want, Mika. Your home is too plain. Here, put Nujitsu in, Hisoka. I'll drive."

"You drove last time! Let me drive!"

"…No."

"Tsuzuki!"

"I'm driving."

"…"

"You got the keys?"

"No."

"…"

"I know you're joking."

"I'm not."

"…"

"Where are you going now?"

"I'm walking home."

"Hey! You can't do that! It's a long walk! And there are too many humans to just fly your way there!"

"I'll _hitchhike _if I have to."

"Wait!"

"What?"

"…I was joking."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"It's not like we lost the kids at least…"

"…"

"…No."

"…"

"You didn't."

"Er…"

"Where is she, Tsuzuki?! She was just here!"

"I'm sorry!"

"…Oh _shit, shit!_"

"Calm down. She's in the car. See? Look. Got you again!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Oh and by the way, I switched the milk while you were being molested by that guy who thought you were his girlfriend."

"…"

"…?"

"…"

"Hisoka?"

"…"

"…Hello?"

"…"

"Hisoka? Are you oka…Hisoka?"

"Mika, get out of the car and hold your brother. Thank you."

"?"

"…"

"H…Hisoka? What are…HEY! STOP!"

"…"

"HISOKA! I'M SORRY! HEY! OUCH! HISOKA! NO!"

"GET BACK HERE AND DIE!!!"

"AAAH!! HISOKAAAAA!!"

"YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AN ELDER!! RUNNING FROM A CHILD?! HA! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU ASATO TSUZUKI! YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU DRANK 2% MILK FROM THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!"

~*~end chapter~*~

A/N: Sorry about the bit of OOC if there was some ^^; And also, to push myself on all my fics I've decided, the MORE reviews I get the FASTER I will post the next chapter. I think this will help me a lot to make sure I _make_ time to write the fics! ^_^ Thanks soooo much for the awesome reviews! 

__

ra-chan: I'm glad you were laughing! Thanks for the review! I will continue soon with every review I get! Thanks a bunch! ^.^

Ruby_Tears: lol I'll have to say the erection joke was also one of my favorites ^_^ Thank you for your review! So happy you loved it!

Rinoa Redcloak: Already interesting? Why thanks! ^.^ Makes a girl happy to read such sweet reviews! Now it's my turn to review one of yours!!! Lol Did you get that email from Elf? XD

Akane: Wai! So glad to hear from you again!! ^_^ Everything going well? T_T I'm hoping so much to get this doujinshi to you ASAP!!! I promise it! ! ^_^ Thanks again!!

Elf Asato: Hello there! ^_^ Wakaba-chan, yes, yes. All her doing! Haha! So happy I got to read Hisoka Doll and Idiot's Anonymous ^.^ Thank you for everything SO much!! Chijou! O_o; XD

sissy & kody: You guys are awesome! I love reading your reviews so much! ^_^ Don't stop! You guys are da best! XD

Yami no Tenshi: ^.^ I hope to read more reviews from you in the future! Thankies for the nice comments ^__^ Don't we all just love Tsuzuki?

pan-chan: You like my style? REALLY? ^.^ Yay! *hugs* Thank you!!!! 

Jes-Pai-Tha: Yes! Havoc everywhere! I must agree I do think them having some type of child is cute ^__^ Thanks for the review!! Loved it!

Ita-chan: Well, since you seem to want more, MORE CHAPTERS WILL COME THEN! ^_^ You're such a great reviewer! I love your reviews so much! Thank you thank you!! You're so wonderful!!! *gives you Tsuzuki plushie* ^____^

Yume Maxwell-Yuy: Oh hi! I've seen you review so much of my work! You're such a sweet person! ^_^ I'm so happy that you enjoy my work! VERY pleased to hear it! ^_^ I like your work too!! Have I reviewed any of it? o_o; If not, I swear I will! ^_^ Right now in fact!! *hugs*

Fiona: ^_^ Mika is such a troublemaker! Thanks for the review! Makes me want to just keep on writing so much more! I'm glad you enjoyed this!! More will be heading your way! So watch out for them! ^____^

I think it's time I responded to every reviewer for their great comments ^__^ I love ya all so much!!

__


	3. Diapers vs Men

Survival of the Parents

A/N: @_@ Finally!

Responses at the end.

Enjoy. 

You know the disclaimer. ^_^ Hope you like.

~*~*~*~

With an obvious expression of exhaustion, Tsuzuki slumped into the comfort of the sofa's cushion. It was a soft blue coat that provided the exact warmth one needed during the cold times. Hisoka refused to have leathered furniture in which that they only provided further discomfort in the summer. 

Beside Tsuzuki, Mika sat cheerfully nibbling on an oversized chocolate chip cookie given to her in hopes of ceasing her constant singing of Tsuzuki's improvement of "Jingle Bells". 

Nujitsu was before Tsuzuki on the ground, struggling to stand to walk; a grunt of determination came from his little body every so often.

"Tsuzuki, you could help you know," snapped Hisoka from behind the counter placing the foods away in their respective areas.

Tsuzuki smiled pleasingly at Hisoka. "I'm watching the kids, love"

"Does it look like I care?"

Tsuzuki nodded with his best smile. "You do."

Hisoka grumbled and angrily tossed a can of corn into the cabinet before slamming it shut. "Useless pig."

"You feed me too much love."

Placing the frozen items in the cooler, the boy replied, "Hope you choke on it." 

"Anything to get you to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation," admitted Tsuzuki, rising from his spot.

"You think too much about sexual ideas," lectured Hisoka, ignoring the passionate feelings emerging from Tsuzuki's mind.

"On the contrary," protested Tsuzuki, instantly snaking his arms around the smaller form. "I'm too busy thinking of you."

__

Relax, Hisoka…He's done this before…Don't hit him…

Hisoka tensed visibly beneath the touch and shivered at the warm breath tickling his ear. "You're touching me," he pointed out.

Tsuzuki chuckled and placed a few butterfly kisses against the soft neck.

__

…Count to ten…1……2….

"Stop." A command, not a request. The voice was cold but Tsuzuki snuggled deeper into the embrace.

"Why?" was the whisper.

__

…3…4…9…

All of the sudden, a squeal of delight was heard. Both of them shot their heads up to find Mika, who had managed to raise her body comfortably on the counter, giggling at them.

"Whee! Kiss him again! I wanna see you kiss him!" she chirped taking another bite from her cookie.

"Excuse me?" demanded Hisoka, still not realizing his back was perfectly snuggled against Tsuzuki's broad chest.

"Kiss! Kiss!" She began to sing. "Daddy and 'Soka under a tree, L-I-C-K-I-N-G. First comes kisses, then comes sex, then comes babies, which are so complex!" She screamed with laughter.

Hisoka stared at her with astonishment. "Where did you learn those words?" he questioned. In all of his life, he had never met a child that knew of such a word at such a young stage in life.

Mika cocked her head in peculiarity and blinked cutely. "You haven't figured it out, yet? Tsk tsk. I'm a prodigy. Prestigious. My mental capability is far beyond the extend of one who is at my age now, which, might I add, should be to the point where I begin to improve in my coloring rather than improve my understanding of Algebra!" She giggled wildly. 

She squealed again and leapt off the counter, attaching herself to Hisoka's hips. 

Giving out a cry, Hisoka desperately tried to pry the girl off of him. Not even Tsuzuki couldn't help but notice where the face of Mika was placed.

"Tsuzuki! Get her off! Ah!"

Tsuzuki, although shoulder trembling with laughter, began to peal the girl's deathly grip from his fianc-er…friend.

Mika giggled and lifted her head slightly to look up at Hisoka. "Girly boy! Can I call you that? Oh! I could give you a love bite right now!" 

It was then Hisoka gave out a piercing shriek to wake the dead when Mika sunk her teeth into his jeans and bit something oh so sensitive. 

"…Lucky girl," stated Tsuzuki.

~*~*~*~

Nujitsu sighed contently as he clung to a stuffed animal of Tsuzuki's, not minding the amount of drool he was depositing on the toy. He lifted his large eyes to find Hisoka moaning in distress on his spot sprawled across the sofa. In his hand, he held a pouch of ice wrapped in a towel settled upon a small bulge in his pants.

"S…ka…" he gurgled, frowning when no one heard him. The shuffling a feet caused him to adjust his vision to the other man who kneeled beside Hisoka.

"Hisoka?" he asked quietly.

Another moan. "What, Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki gently ran his hand through silky strands in a motion of comfort. "How are you feeling?"

"Like Muraki gave me a blow job. Why?" Hisoka snarled slapping Tsuzuki's hand away from his head.

Tsuzuki frowned with a look of pain. "Hisoka…"

And at that moment, a little form flew through the air and stuck to Tsuzuki's back. Mika peered over his shoulder to get a glimpse of the injured Hisoka lying helplessly on the sofa.

"Hey, girl-um…Hisoka," Mika corrected by a gently shake from Tsuzuki.

Hisoka attempted to keep a calm appearance but failed and resulted in her receiving a glare.

Tsuzuki gave a small laugh as Mika nuzzled her nose against his cheek. "I finished putting the food away, Hisoka," he informed his partner.

"Want a medal?"

"No. A kiss will do," Tsuzuki suggested.

Hisoka turned his head away, concealing his famous blush. "Idiot."

Mika smiled sweetly and then detached herself from Tsuzuki. She quietly approached Hisoka, stuck a small hand into a pocket in her dress and retrieved a piece of paper.

"…Soka?"

"…Now what?"

Mika hesitated before saying softly, "I made you a picture. I felt bad about biting you too hard."

Hisoka shifted his head again to look at her with awe. "You…made me something?" he whispered in disbelief.

She nodded eagerly and unfolded the paper before offering it to Hisoka.

The picture surprisingly emotionally touched Hisoka. Taking a close examination, he stared at its beauty. To the left of page stood Tsuzuki grinning that cute smile only he could pull off. In his arms was Hisoka, furiously blushing and possessing something that appeared to be a vein popping. His eyes slid to the right where he found Mika holding a puppy. Perhaps it was a cat. Either way, sitting and hugging Tsuzuki's stuffed duck was Nujitsu. Hearts littered the drawing; most that were around himself and his older partner.

"That's Daddy, that's you; you blush a lot so I colored your face red. Nujitsu-chan is here, hence the small size, and there's me holding my kitty!" she proclaimed, pointing to each picture with each explanation. 

Despite her age, the coloring was extraordinary. Each color contained such a brilliant glow that the thought of a child drawing this was incredulous. 

"Thank you," he finally said.

She grinned and looked to Tsuzuki. "See? I told you he would like it!"

Tsuzuki smiled at her pride and ruffled her hair. "It's wonderful," he agreed as he lifted Nujitsu up when the boy began whining and twitching. 

Setting aside the towel with ice, Hisoka sat up and hesitantly stood. "He's hungry."

"You sure?" Tsuzuki questioned. "I think he needs to be changed." He sniffed the air and cringed.

With Mika tagging along behind him, Hisoka entered the kitchen again. "Then change him."

"You do it," demanded Tsuzuki, leaning slightly on the counter with Nujitsu propped against his hip.

"Why me? You changed him last time, right? Do it again," Hisoka growled and then said with a tone of sarcasm, "besides, you're so much more advanced in changing diapers."

Tsuzuki raised an eyebrow. "Las time? He didn't need to be changed. It was just a little fart."

"…Well, first time for everything," Hisoka said, attempting to avoid Mika's greedy hands pleading as they tugged on his belt.

"What is it?" he finally asked.

She pointed to the fridge. "Hang my picture there?

Patiently, Tsuzuki waited as Mika aided Hisoka to hand her drawing on the fridge with a cactus shaped magnet pinning up.

"Help me change him first," ordered Tsuzuki.

"No."

Tsuzuki rolled his eyes. "Hisoka, don't start with me."

Angrily, Hisoka crossed his arms defensively across his chest. "No."

"Hisoka! It will train us BOTH to be able to change diapers!"

Mika scrunched up her nose and said with a dramatic voice, "You'll both die. Nuji-chan makes poppy as big as an elephant."

"An elephant?"

"Yes!"

"Tsuzuki, you can do it by yourself."

"Hisoka, you WILL help me."

"Nope."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Hisoka, lovely puppy honey bunch!"

"Don't call me that!"

"My lovely wuppy puppy shmuppy."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

Nujitsu's eyes began to blur as tears streamed down his face. He flailed his arms landing punches onto Tsuzuki's chest.

Tsuzuki flinched at the screeching sounds and stretched Nujitsu away, only furthering the boy's screaming and tears.

"Hisoka! Help!"

"What's the matter? Can't hack a child?"

"Now is not that time! Help!"

Hisoka groaned and snatched the sobbing baby. Gently, he wrapped his arms around the boy and sat down. Softly caressing the child's back, he hummed a lullaby he was taught when his mother would sing to him.

In short time, the baby's screaming was reduced to hiccups and silent tears.

Tsuzuki gasped, "How did you do that?"

Hisoka ignored him.

With delight and approval, Mika clapped her hands. "Soka is a good mommy."

The boy's eye twitched at the comment. Though before he could argue, a sudden wet and warm sensation began to spread throughout his pants.

Tsuzuki stumbled back at Hisoka's cry of alarm, as did Nujitsu. At first he assumed Hisoka's cry was of irritation until he got a glance at his partner's lap.

"Oh shit! He pissed on me!" Hisoka screamed.

"Hisoka don't swear!" begged Tsuzuki, grunting as Nujitsu was shoved into his grasp again.

"Hisoka!"

"I need to change, Tsuzuki!" Hisoka shouted.

Tsuzuki took hold of Hisoka's wrist. "No! I need your help!" he chided. Nujitsu was a premonition of a bad day still to come. Not to mention he was developing a brilliant headache.

"Tsuzuki! I have PISS on my pants! And it's tightening them!"

"Teenagers and their hormones!"

"Whoa! Whoa! HORMONES?! YOU'RE the one trying to get into my pants!"

"Yeah well-aah! Hisoka! He's pissing on my hand!"

"He already PISSED on my PANTS!"

"Help!"

"I need to change! Let go of me, damn it!"

"Please! Ahh! He's pissing on my leg! MY LEG!"

"Let me go this instant!"

"Hisoka! I'm begging you!"

"Mika! Get him off of me! LET GO!"

"Oh Christ, Hisoka! You tried to knee me in my stomach!"

"I aimed to high!"

"Aah!!! HISOKA! MY SHIRT!"

"Hey! You take him back! Tsuzuki!"

"YOU TAKE HIM!"

"You!"

"Hisoka!"

"God damn it, Tsuzuki! Ah! He tried to bite me! Why is everyone biting me? He's got two teeth but they're sharp! Hey! Get back here, Asato! Tsuzuki, you-AAAHHHH!!"

"Oh my god! Hisoka!"

Tsuzuki rushed to the fallen Hisoka's side. Beside him lied a broken vase. A trickle of blood streamed down his forehead.

"Are you okay?" he frantically asked, lifting Hisoka's shoulder.

"….My head…" moaned Hisoka. Nujitsu giggled despite his tears.

Mika bounced up to them. "Did I forget to tell you that Nujitsu is also a prodigy of some sort? Things move when he gets mad."

…

…

"…"

"…"

"What kind of kids are these?" Hisoka asked with a hint of fear.

~*~*~*~

"All right," sighed Tsuzuki, only wearing a long shirt and boxers. Hisoka, who was dressed in a similar fashion stood close by him while Nujitsu lied on the bed, back against a towel.

"Take off the diaper," ordered Hisoka as he disgustedly eyed the enormous stain on the diaper.

Tsuzuki flinched and peeled back the sticky fasteners and the front of the destructive device also known as a diaper.

Hisoka gasped. "Oh god." He turned away, not getting far when a hand pulled him back. 

Tsuzuki, eyes still fixed on the baby, scolded, "No. We agreed to do this together."

"I wouldn't have mind leaving them out in the cold, but no, you HAD to take them in," Hisoka insisted jerking out the man's grasp.

"Don't give me that attitude," growled Tsuzuki reaching for the wipes. "Hey…where are the wipes?"

The shuffling of a few items must have meant Hisoka was rummaging through his stuff. "I don't know," he finally admitted from wherever he stood.

Tsuzuki thought for a moment before looking back at his partner. "Toilet paper, then?"

"No," Hisoka disagreed, "babies need wipes…"

"You would know of this?"

Hisoka resisted the urge to punch his partner. "Their skin is very sensitive."

"Like yours?" Tsuzuki suggested.

Hisoka remained silent. 

"Well, those hickeys DID leave a mark," he snarled after a while.

"It was a DARE! And I was drunk!"

"Of course you were. Perverted old man."

"I am NOT!"

"Then STOP staring at my crotch!"

"…Don't wear tight boxers!"

"They're not tight! And I can wear whatever I damn want!"

"Don't swear, Hisoka."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I still love you, 'Soka."

"…Tsuzuki…"

"Yes?"

"Stop STARING."

"…Sorry…"

"…"

"Ah! Damn it that hurt!" cried Tsuzuki, rubbing his head roughly as the box of wipes collapsed onto the bed beside a giggling Nujitsu.

"No swearing," reminded Hisoka waving a finger in disapproval. He went and stood beside Tsuzuki again, glancing toward the baby.

Smiling slightly, Tsuzuki opened the box and removed a few wipes. "Okay…" he said hesitantly as he placed the wipe against Nujitsu's bottom and scraped the horror before him. 

Hisoka's faced scrunched up in disgust at the awful stench. "Don't forget to wipe his penis."

Tsuzuki shot an odd look at Hisoka.

"What?" asked his young partner, blinking with confusion.

"…Just sounded funny is all. I never expected you to say that word," Tsuzuki teased with a chuckle.

Hisoka's jaw became taut and stiff. "What's THAT supposed to mean? I'll say it again! Penis, penis, penis, PENIS!"

"You're so innocent," Tsuzuki gasped between laughs.

It was Hisoka's turn to smirk. "So says the virgin."

"Oh ho ho! That was so cheap!"

"Was it?"

Tsuzuki frowned deeply and stuffed the wipes into the dirty diaper before rolling it up to prevent any…er…gifts from slipping out.

"That's not funny Hisoka," he said.

Hisoka lifted his narrow shoulder to form a shrug. "Was it supposed to be?"

"I'm sorry about it," Tsuzuki barely whispered, not realizing the chill going through Nujitsu's body.

"Eh?" asked a bewildered Hisoka. "What for?"

Tsuzuki took another diaper and lifted Nujitsu's legs up, sliding it underneath the bottom. He hesitated before meeting jade eyes. "Um…For what happened to you. I'm…how….Muraki raped and…"

"Stop," Hisoka warned in a tight voice.

Tsuzuki's chest twisted uncomfortable. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bring back the memory!"

"Tsuzuki…" Hisoka tried again.

"…It's just that you were so young and when I found out I was so sorry! I was also very…"

"Nujitsu is pissing on you," Hisoka finally stated, staring at Tsuzuki's hips.

Tsuzuki blinked. "Eh?"

"He must have gotten too cold. Pissed on you. Look." Hisoka pointed his index finger to the lower half of Tsuzuki's shirt.

Amethyst eyes followed the direction of the finger. "Oh god!"

Nujitsu screamed with laughter and slapped his hand together as Tsuzuki struggled to remove his under shirt.

"Idiot."

~*~*Minutes Later*~*~

"Okay, powder," said a shirtless Tsuzuki.

"Powder? What for?"

"Not sure. But I see them do it on cartoons."

"…Cartoons…Tsuzuki…"

"What? Cartoons and cereal make a perfect match!"

Hisoka grumbled in a hushed tone and entered the bathroom. After a moment or two of shoving items hear and then, he emerged with powder in his hand. "Here."

Tsuzuki gave a grateful smile and twisted the top, causing a small cloud of powder to burst into his face.

Coughing, he waved the powder away from his face and began to apply some to Nujitsu's still bare rear end.

"Tsuzuki! You're getting it all over my bed!"

More powder. "It's okay. You can sleep on me on the couch."

"Tsuzuki!"

Tsuzuki chuckled with no hint of concern over the situation. "Relax. Would could possibly go wro-"

At the middle of that word, the lid, overwhelmed with powder pressuring against it and with the lid not securely twisted on, fell off.

"Ack! *cough, cough* Tsuzuki! *gag*"

Nujitsu giggled again attempting to swallow the powder fluttering around his lips.

~*~*~*~

Hisoka sighed as he slipped on new clothing on Nujitsu. Well, actually, it was one of his smaller shirts. He and Tsuzuki had forgotten to purchase clothing.

Tsuzuki tossed the old diaper and wipes used to launder Nujitsu of the powder into the trash.

As they were performing their tasks, Mika knocked on the door softly with her small fist and smiled at the two. 

The older of the two welcomed her in. "Er…accident with the powder," Tsuzuki explained answering her perplexed look of the white substance covering both his and Hisoka's body.

She giggled, covering her mouth with one hand. "I can see why 'Soka likes you. Such a fit body!"

Hisoka groaned loudly and turned with Nujitsu yawning in his arms. "Looks like that's a sign that kids need their nap time," he suggested after patting Nujitsu's head softly.

Mika immediately gave a shriek of protest. "NO NAP!"

She scurried out the room with amazing speed. Both Tsuzuki and Hisoka followed after her as they cast each other strange looks.

"Mika!" Hisoka shouted angrily as he set Nujitsu into a playpen Tsuzuki had set up.

The baby whined in protest but was soon distracted with a stuffed duck. He gurgled and sucked on the bill.

Tsuzuki came beside Hisoka. "That's odd. I can't find her," he said, searching about. He paused then turned back to Hisoka. "Sense her."

Another sigh escaped Hisoka as he shut his eyes and began to scan the area. All the while, Tsuzuki waited patiently, studying the boy's almost naked form…chocolate syrup….bed…yes…nice bed…more syrup…

"I can't concentrate with your thoughts spilling out of your useless shields."

Tsuzuki's blood rushed to his face. "Uh…sorry."

Hisoka began once again just as Tsuzuki raised his more defensible shields. Almost instantly, his hand shot out pointing towards the closet. "In there."

Tsuzuki quietly advanced on the closet door and took a grip of the knob. "I wonder where she is," he said in a playful tone.

"Tsuzuki! Not the time to play!" Hisoka hissed in irritation.

As soon as the clock of the knob was heard, Mika leapt out with a squeal as the door jammed itself against Tsuzuki's face. A disturbing cracking of a bone was audibly heard.

"Ah! My nose!"

Hisoka sprinted to the side and caught her by the arms.

Mika screeched and drew her tongue out licking Hisoka's arm. In doing so, it created an enormous amount of saliva to lather over his arms. With disgust Hisoka released her and attempted to slap off the saliva.

"Ew! How sick!"

Taking the opportunity, she flew onto Hisoka's shoulders and leaped behind him, much like a game of leapfrog.

She zipped through the hallway and into a room, slamming the door with a loud and obnoxious 'BOOM'.

Tsuzuki, clutching his face with a hand, appeared from behind the door he was smashed against.

"This is going to be harder than I thought."

~*~*~*~

A/N: Ah, I love writing from experience XD ^_^ Well, here's another update for you. Okay, now go read Advocatus Diaboli! ^_^ PLEASE EXCUSE ANY ERRORS! ; No one helped edit this. I was the only editor, which means…dun dun dun..^_^; Sorry for ANY errors.

Responses:

**__**

Tricycle: I'm happy you found it funny! Sometimes I'm not certain if it's either funny or…not ^^; Okay, yeah, well…um…okay. Heh. Thanks for the review! ^_^ Hope this chapter made you laugh.

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julie: Pleased that you liked it! Hoped you liked this one too! More will come! ^_^ Thank you very much for your review!

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Lucifer Unforgiven: I like your name o_o…XDXD Okay, sorry. Was entranced ^^; You really laughed a lot? Good! ^__^ You asked for more, here it is! ^.^ Thank you!

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a certain bloody bunny: Dear, don't die now. O_o; Bite his head off? o_o Oh my…just don't choke, alright? ^^; I'll continue, of course. I like the comment about it being funny and witty! ^_^ thank you very much!

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hannah taylor: Hope your stomach didn't hurt too much! ^_^ Nujitsu is portrayed after my brother so you can imagine how much work I do with the kid o__o; Mika…came from my friend's younger sister. ^^;; They also have a big age difference o_O; ^_^ Anyway, thanks for the kind review!! Hoped you laughed really hard 'til you fell. ^.^

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Elf Asato: It's all your fault I always think of talking to a rose. T_T;; Heh, you and your fics impacting my view of plants XD The two being married?…Well…They're married in MY mind XD Perhaps I'll add that, no? *pats you* Don't hug me too tight o_o; And, yes, I love sexual tension between them. ^_^ Thanks, Elffy! My new nickname for you XD 

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Jes-Pai-Tha: Ah, it's okay you reviewed late! ^_^ I'm just happy you reviewed! Your review was great! Hahaha, I love your actions. Don't kick something you might regret lol I like the man that mistook Hisoka for a female. ^_^ Well, you know how guys are sometimes…or…something…lol Sorry I took so long to update! ^^;; Thanks!!

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Ita-chan: Ah! One of my favorite reviewers! Tsuzuki can be such a sexy cute pervert ^_^ Thank you so much for your compliments. I ALWAYS check to see if your reviews are there. I love them ^_^ THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I should write something special for ya…^.^ *ideas* Haha, I'll be sure to keep the Tsuzuki hentai innuendoes ^.^!!

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Akiya: Ah, I'm so happy I made your day! That's wonderful! Hope I get around to writing the NEXT chapter quickly o_o; ^_^ Thanks you with many…uh…thanks XD. Thanks!

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anime youkai: I like his flirtatious gestures too ^_^ Those pranks were also from an experience. I took someone's keys and they thought I left them in the car XDXD ^_^;; They didn't threaten me with 2% milk though…lol;; Thanks so much for the review!! Liked this chapter?

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Yume Maxwell-Yuy: Thank you for complimenting me on the fic being good work. I always enjoy your reviews. They're very pleasant to read ^_^ Still laughing? Don't forget to breathe! ^.^; I need to add more funny parts…hmm…^_^ *ideas go fluttering around* THANKS! 

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Saki: Thanks! ^.^ I appreciate the time you took for the review. So pleased that you enjoy my style! Thank you very much! Plenty more to come! ^.^ I add a lot of smiles in my responses, don't I? Lol

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ra-chan: Hahaha, I'm sure you'd enjoy making it worse XD *watches fans cheer for Tsuzuki* ^.^ Thanks!! ^o^

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Starza: Got tears from all the laughing? XD good! "…comedy in it's PUREST form" I love that quote. I'm taking it. XDXD; ^.^ Thank you very very much! Hope to read another review from you :X ~~ likes that smile now

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Literary Eagle: Hello again! I don't even know WHERE I got the idea for him to sing a song. ^^; Oh well, must have been sniffing something XD. Thanks!!! ^.^ I will keep up the work! And hopefully make it good!

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Fiona: Still laughing? ^.^ Yay! I can't help but allow Hisoka to beat on him every so often (a.k.a. A LOT XD) I lost track too o___o;;; But thank you for telling me so that I know it's not just me XD;; I'll be sure to add a few names here and there so as not to confuse you. Still happy you liked it! Thanks! ^__^

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Rinoa Redcloak: I wore those types of diapers too and I'm not that old either XD…Er…hopefully o_O; Depends on what you called "old" ^_^ Yes, I LOVE you fics *__* details…^_^ Two kids yourself? Gah, I FELL like I have my own kid (brother calls me 'mama' anyway XD;; ) So you can understand what it's like, ne? I hate checking for diaper sizes x___x Or deciding what food he wants. He CONSTANTLY changes his little crazy mind up. -_-; ANYWAY, THANKS A BUNCH! ^_^ 


	4. Patience Is No Virtue

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Patience Is No Virtue

A/N: Here you guys are. ^_^; It's not that long, I'm afraid, sorry. ~.~;

Enjoy!

Reviews are responded at the end of the chapter. Thank you all so much. *hugs*

~*~*~*~

The battlefield is dangerous. 

Every turn can result to death. 

The enemy is well hidden and hunting you down.

The silent atmosphere becomes disturbingly too still.

Closer the enemy approaches.

The heart begins to beat rapidly with each step toward destruction.

Closer.

Breathing becomes forgotten.

Survival.

Closer…

Nearly there…

"Kiiiyaaaaaaa!!!!!"

"Aahh!!"

"Aaaahh!"

Mika giggled insanely and leaped over Hisoka and Tsuzuki's head, causing a piercing shriek of terror to emerge from the two. Gracefully, she landed on the carpet and bolted down the stairs.

Gasping, Hisoka clutched at his chest and licked his lips. "Oh dear," he croaked. "I...I can't do this."

"Hisoka," Tsuzuki panted, equally as frightened. "We have to get her to take a nap."

"Are you serious? She's done this over twelve times and I still get terrified when she latches onto me with a scream! I'm not doing this! It was _your_ idea, _you_ fix it!" 

Tsuzuki groaned and glared at Hisoka. "I thought we got over this argument!"

"Apparently not."

Huffing in frustration, Tsuzuki crossed his arms. This was not going as he planned. He was anticipating a lovely scene with Hisoka carrying Nujitsu in his arms gently while he held Mika in his lap…You know, the whole happy family idea. But instead he got a hunt started.

"Look," Hisoka whispered after he caught his breath and relaxed his tensed muscles. "Let's just go down and find her."

Tsuzuki slightly smiled to himself and nodded in agreement. Leading the way, he was cautious as to notice anything out of place. He truly did not want to be startled again.

"…Well, Nujitsu is asleep," he commented when he noticed the child curled around a plushie, drooling yet in a blissful sleep.

Hisoka bit his lip and braced himself as Tsuzuki reached the last step of the flight of stairs. Watching, he let out a breath when nothing leaped out at them. This is a home not some…battlefield! 

"Hey," Tsuzuki said in a hushed voice, taking Hisoka's wrist gently into his hand. "Look."

Carefully not to make much movement that would cause noise, Hisoka peered over at the couch and found a curled up Mika, surprisingly, sleeping.

Hisoka blinked a couple of times to confirm that it was no mere illusion. Yep, she was in a deep sleep. No faking.

The two let out sighs at the same moment and collapsed against the back of the couch, leaning their heads on it for comfort. Tsuzuki had set his head gently on Hisoka's shoulder, smiling slightly as he watched Nujitsu sleep.

"Ne, Hisoka?"

"Yeah?"

"…Love you."

"…Yeah."

Tsuzuki shifted slightly and yawned. "How long do they sleep for?"

"Hopefully, forever."

"Hisoka!"

"What?"

"That was cruel."

"Yeah?"

"…Hisoka."

"WHAT?"

"Relax! I was thinking…"

"Oh no…"

"What? You make me sound like an idiot."

"You are an idiot, Tsuzuki."

"…Aren't you even going to listen to what I want to say?"

"Yeah, yeah. What is it?"

"We should take them out. Kids need to get out you know."

"NO. WAY."

"Why not?"

Hisoka shoved Tsuzuki's head away from him to stare into his partner's eyes. "Do you realize," he began with a serious yet nervous tone, "that people would mistake us for them being _our_ kids?"

Strong shoulders lifted in a shrug. "So?" he asked with no concern over that being an issue. It would be kind of cute…

"I'm not going out like that."

"Hisoka…please?"

"No."

"Come on!"

"No."

"Well, I'm older so I'm in charge!"

"Mentally or physically?"

"….Both!"

"Oh yeah. And I'm a whore at the town's whore house."

"…We have a whore house here?"

"Ugh."

"…"

"What?"

"Hisoka, that image is very disturbing."

"Oh, shut up!"

"Make me!"

"Oh yeah? Only one way to settle this!"

~*~3 minutes later~*~

"Ha! I win!"

Hisoka growled and stared at Tsuzuki's hands. "You cheated! You added two fingers when I touched you with ONE finger when we started this!"

"Oh, don't be a sore loser," Tsuzuki demanded, dodging a small punch from his partner. "I didn't cheat!"

"Fine."

Tsuzuki smiled sweetly and stood up. "Where should we take them?"

"…I don't know. I don't care," Hisoka mumbled.

"Don't be so moody. The weather will do you good. Let's go to the pool," Tsuzuki suggested as he began creating some snacks for the two children.

Hisoka cringed. "The pool?"

Tsuzuki nodded as he began grabbing materials for cheese and crackers. "Sure!"

The thought of even getting near a pool always caused an uneasy feeling to settle in Hisoka's stomach. Well, he supposed he could wear a shirt over some trunks but…still…that other problem…

"Tsuzuki…."

"Hey, Hisoka, do you think they'd like apple juice or orange juice?" Tsuzuki broke in, head sticking into the fridge. 

Hisoka sighed, not really caring much but responded, "Apple."

"Why?" Tsuzuki inquired, but pulled out a case of apple juice they had bought.

With a grunt, Hisoka stood up and strolled over to the kitchen and leaned his weight onto the counter. "Because it's like apple."

"Hm…I think they like orange juice."

"Then get out the orange juice."

"But you said apple."

"Tsuzuki, I don't really _care_ what they like."

"But you have to! There's a BIG difference between apple and orange juice."

"They're both fruit. I don't like either. There."

"…I don't know…"

"Tsuzuki who _cares_! Just give them orange juice!"

"But you said apple juice!"

"Whatever! Orange juice!"

"Oh no, Hisoka. You can't change your mind. You said apple juice."

Hisoka groaned and buried his face in his hand. "Tsuzuki, it doesn't matter!"

"Yes, it does!" Tsuzuki insisted.

"No it doesn't! Just give them apple!"

"You just said orange!"

"Tsuzuki, you told me not to change my mind!"

"But I think they'd like orange juice."

"Arrg! Tsuzuki, just give them orange juice!"

"Why do you say apple, then?!"

"Because I just said any random juice to make you shut up!"

"Hisoka, this is important!"

"Tsuzuki, for the love of God, it's JUICE."

"But what if they're allergic?"

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation."

Tsuzuki frowned. "Why not? It's a serious argument."

"Just give them orange juice."

"But…"

Hisoka angrily snatched the apple juice container from his partner.

In shock, Tsuzuki gasped and watched with wide eyes. "What are you doing?" 

With a scowl, Hisoka tore it open and began drinking its contents. In about a minute, he managed to consume the entire carton, which, of course, wasn't that big but still a good amount.

"W…what…?"

Hisoka gasped and cringed at the strong taste travelling down his throat as tossed the carton away. "Now you _have_ to give them orange juice. There!"

"…I thought you didn't like it and then you go and drink it!"

"I _don't_ like it. I just wanted to end the conversation."

"Hisoka…"

"What?"

"…We have another container of apple juice in the fridge."

"…"

"Hisoka? Where are you going?"

"To the room to take a good long look at my pathetic life as a Shinigami."

"…I take it you won't be drinking the other container, Hisoka? Hisoka? Hisokaaa! I didn't mean to upset you….Hello? Hisoka? Hisoka, don't ignore me! Oh, come on!"

~*~*~*~

"Thank you for the snacks, 'Suki," Mika happily expressed as she held Tsuzuki's hand and skipped.

Tsuzuki nodded in return and watched his pace as to not exceed the girl's speed. He was pleased that they enjoyed the apple juice he offered them and that they were heading toward the nearby pool. She didn't have a swimsuit, but Tsuzuki had given her a shirt tucked into a pair of tiny shorts he found to fit her. Hey, so what if he accidentally put them in the dryer when they were not originally supposed to go there? It came to use, didn't it? 

Hisoka, still rather frustrated and wearing his trunks and shirt with a pair of simple shoes, was currently carrying a fidgeting Nujitsu. The child appeared to have a fascination with poking at his eyes.

"Nujitsu, could you please stop-ow! Stop that!" Hisoka cried when a finger socked him directly in his right eye.

"Shwap fwat!" Nujitsu repeated with very broken baby talk and giggled, dripping drool on Hisoka's shoulder.

Groaning, Hisoka took the small blanket and placed it over the wetness and set Nujitsu down comfortably down again. Bad idea…

"Ow! My ear! Ah! Tsuzuki! My ear! My _ear_!" Hisoka screeched as Nujitsu tugged merciless on his ear, hoping it would pop off and he could stick it in his mouth to nibble on.

Tsuzuki paused and turned, instantly bursting out into a grin and then laughing. He shifted the two bags he held and shook his head.

"Tsuzuki! Help! Ah! It's coming off! It's coming off!"

"It's not going to rip off, Hisoka," Tsuzuki insisted as he gently pried Nujitsu off and inspected the now red ear.

Hisoka moaned and clutched it, feeling it begin to heal but still throbbing. "God that kid is strong…You guys aren't human!"

"That's cruel, Hisoka. Stop acting childish. We're nearly there," Tsuzuki explained and took Mika's waiting hand once again.

Hisoka hissed in the back of his throat and made a face.

Nujitsu smiled, gurgled, and cuddled into Hisoka's arms, sucking on his thumb…er…hand.

Well, Hisoka supposed he couldn't do many harmful activities to him. After all, he was just a baby…

Suddenly, without warning, Nujitsu slapped Hisoka's face with a now saliva dripping hand and shoved a rattle he had been carrying down Hisoka's throat. Then he lifted himself up slightly and latched his mouth onto Hisoka's nose and sucked on it.

…a baby from Hell.

Tsuzuki swiftly turned at a muffled scream and cried out load in alarm. "Hisoka!"

"Aaaggh! It's not a baby! It's Satan's spawn! Nyag!" Hisoka managed to spit out the rattle. He then struggled to pry off the demon but Nujitsu's grip on his nose was disturbingly strong. To make matters worse, he had spitted the rattle on the ground and didn't notice it as his foot came in contact with it.

"Oh god! Hisoka, look out!"

"Aaahh!" 

…Ouch.

Tsuzuki peered over Hisoka's body with concerned eyes. "Oh dear god! Hisoka, are you okay?" 

Nujitsu giggled from his place on Hisoka's chest.

"Oooohh…I knew I should have spend the day at work…"

~*~*~*~

"Be careful, Mika. Are you sure you can swim?" Tsuzuki asked, watching Mika splash about in the kiddy pool.

Hisoka sighed and shifted Nujitsu on the towel they both sat on. He desperately attempted to ignore the stares that they continued to receive from other occupants of the public pool.

"Tsuzuki," he said, "it's only one foot deep. She's not drowning."

"What if another kid tried to drown her?" Tsuzuki cried out in fright.

Hisoka eyes him oddly and then returned to keeping Nujitsu occupied with baby toys. "Tsuzuki, shut up."

Tsuzuki, still watching Mika carefully as she began babbling with another little girl, moaned uncomfortably. "I'm serious! Like that book Lord of the Flies! Watari read it and told me all about it! Children murdering other children!"

"I've never heard of the book, Tsuzuki. Nor do I really care."

"Hisokaaa!"

Sighing, Hisoka thought for a moment. "Look," he began with an irritated voice, "if someone tries to drown her, she'd kill them first. Happy?"

"No."

"…"

Hisoka gave up on Tsuzuki and kept himself busy with Nujitsu. Personally, he would have preferred to read a good novel, but, of course, fate never appeared to be on his side much. Ah well, what can you do?

Approximately twenty minutes later, Tsuzuki was slightly satisfied with the thought that Mika was not in much danger. 

"Hisoka?"

Hisoka lifted his eyes from the baby and watched Tsuzuki begin to pass him. "Do you mind watching them for a moment? I need to use the bathroom."

Shrugging, Hisoka agreed. It's not as if saying 'no' would help. As Tsuzuki left he kept his eyes on Mika. Upon hearing Nujitsu's squeals, he assumed the baby was fine. Gently, he placed his hand down on the baby's head and realized that there was no baby to touch.

"Eh?" Hisoka looked down and realized Nujitsu had vanished. He panicked and quickly scanned the area. Mika was still playing and Nujitsu…

"Oh god! A baby!" someone shrieked, a woman most likely by the high pitch of the voice.

A baby had just slipped into the deep end of the pool. 

"Nujitsu!" Hisoka cried.

With unusual speed, Hisoka tore away from where he sat and bolted into the water where the tiny form had fell. Two others had gone in as well, but none were as nearby as Hisoka had currently been.

Gagging, Hisoka grabbed Nujitsu's body and panic struck him again. He didn't know how to swim. His mind became too focused on the small form in his arms that all he could manage to do was stick his arms up, to hold the body above the surface of the water.

Thankfully, someone took hold of the baby. Hisoka's mind instantly was then in panic by then to realize it much.

Luckily, he didn't need to breathe but the thought of not having the air to do so caused him to struggle violently underwater, gripping at the wall to jerk his body out to no success.

Pressure on his back informed him someone was beside him. Joined by another hand, the two hands gripped his hips and hauled him up.

Hisoka gasped loudly when his head stuck out of the water. Rubbing at his eyes, he turned to his rescuer and found himself staring at Tsuzuki. The man had a good grip on his waist while the other hand clung to the edge of the pool, keeping them both above the watery depth.

Hisoka panted and looked around and found Mika holding a wet yet cheerful Nujitsu in her arms. Relief swam over him.

"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki admonished angrily. "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't swim?!"

"I…uh…"

"God, that scared the hell out of me!" 

With a surprised choked cry, Hisoka was crushed against Tsuzuki as the man embraced him tightly.

It was then he noticed hands applauding. Jade eyes turned toward the crowd, where people stood around the pool with grins on their face, murmuring pleased expressions at him. 

A man kneeled down and offered his hand to aid Hisoka out. Not having much of a choice since Tsuzuki was lifting him toward the man, Hisoka accepted it and was grateful to feel the hard surface against his feet again.

Tsuzuki soon joined him and he smiled politely to those that patted their backs in a congratulating gesture.

"Hey, look at that, Hisoka, you're a hero now," Tsuzuki pleasingly whispered to his younger, still shocked partner.

"…It was my fault Nujitsu fell in to begin with."

"But you had the courage to dive in after him even if you couldn't swim!" Tsuzuki cried in amazement, leading the three off to their area.

Hisoka shrugged, not enjoying all the attention and snatched a towel, wrapping it tightly around him. "I wasn't thinking. I just did it."

"Ah, don't be modest."

"Didn't you need to use the bathroom?"

"I did. I heard someone cry out about a baby so I came to see what was wrong and saw you jumping into the pool."

"Ugh."

"Hm? What's wrong, Hisoka?"

"I just don't like all this attention. I want to go back home."

"Well, I supposed we did have enough excitement for one day. Let's get dried and go out for dinner tonight."

"Whatever. Fine. Just take me back. I'm freezing."

Mika had already placed a towel around Nujitsu and was complaining about something.

Tsuzuki wrapped another towel around Hisoka's shivering body and rubbed his arms to provide some warmth. "What is it Mika?"

"Um…Nujitsu's diaper is missing and he looks like he's going to poop."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"Oh, good."

"He already did."

~*~*~*~

A/N: Okay, I had decided to take out the last part, since I wanted to make the next chapter longer and placing it in the next chapter would work better. ^-^; Sorry for it being a bit short…I think it's a bit short, anyway. O_o;

^-^ Go read chapter two of Advocatus Diaboli now. Time to work on the next chapter of Beyond These Tears ^.^ *hugs you all*

Respond to reviews:

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kurai: I'm happy you're laughing! ^_^ It's good to know people like my disturbing taste in humor. It's all right for not reviewing before. And yep, I've had these experiences. This is why it makes everything more interesting. ^-^ Thanks a lot for the review! I'm sorry to make you wait so long 

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Scarlets: Yes, Tsuzuki is acting weird purposely. D I just couldn't help making him a bit of a pervert ^-^ And the kids, I don't know what's up with them. Too much candy. XD ^_^ Thanks a lot for your review!

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crazzzybanana: Yay! So wonderful you like this a lot! ^-^ *bows at the clapping* Thank you, thank you X3 ^-^ Comedy lives on! Er, yeah, I hate those minor errors I make. T_T I don't have a beta reader, and I'm horrible at pointing out my own mistakes. O.o; Thanks so much for reviewing. ^_____^

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Vulpick: *nod* They ARE growing up extremely fast. O_o; It's a bit disturbing. It's a bit of reason why I made Mika act er…more intelligent…sort of. *hugs* Thanks for the review! Love them 3

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Sakusha-san: Oh, I know! I don't want children. ^_^ I don't mind them I just can't handle it. Having a baby brother is as difficult as it is. I'M his mother basically o__O; Thank you for the comments XD My fic has affected you! ^____^

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Literary Eagle: ^-^ Yes, I had to add the diapers in. My first experience with diapers with my brother was horrible. I completely destroyed the room, got piss all over me, you know. ^_~ Thanks a lot for the review! Always look forward to yours. ^_^

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Ricca-chan: Oh my! Don't choke laughing! XD ^___^ I'm so pleased you like this so much! You're still laughing! ;__; I'm terribly sorry to have made you wait so long for this chapter. *bows* So sorry. But thank you for the review!! ^___^

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broccoli: ^_^ You got to love it, ne? XDXD Ah, thanks for the time to review the fic. ^-^ *plushies for you* 

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